Reflection for the 27th Sunday in Ordinary Time Year B
(Gen 2:18-24; Heb 2:9-11; Mk 10:2-16)
1.0. The Journey
The readings this Sunday address the issue of Marriage. The first reading talks about the foundation of marriage as rooted in God's will. He founded marriage as the solution to a problem. “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” It took some process before the man could receive the partner fit for him. Yes, God is in eternity but man is in time. Man will always go through some process before arriving at his end, even grace works out through nature! Any marriage contracted abruptly may be anticipating more than grace can carry. Thus the man exclaimed, “This at last...”, which indicates a heart that had arrived at its longing. Marriage, from its foundation, is arrived at as from a journey—the process of a search. It is the satisfaction of a longing; a remedy for loneliness and vulnerability.
“This at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.” What fascinated the man at sighting the woman was that he could identify himself in her and vice versa. The man and woman share one flesh, one dignity but constituted in complementary otherness! So physical compatibility is necessary. However, the “flesh” and “bone” attraction is only a window to deeper interpersonal compatibility.
2.0.The Internal Movement
The journey has started; the train has left its station—marriage is on the roll! God has set the process in motion. There are twofold movements in marriage: Internal and external. The internal movement is that act of self-projection by which the man realizes himself in the woman, and vice versa. The one recognises his “flesh and bone” in that of the opposite sex, and moves to “own” it. This is the beginning of the union...This primordial movement requires, as a condition, certain level of self-abandonment. Thus, the two, in their unique otherness, are unified through inter-personal exchange of “ownership” or mutual interpersonal “self-discovery” in each other. So the man sees his other self the woman, and the woman sees her other self in the man. Marriage is that platform in which the man and woman freely and mutually exchange themselves for each other to realize his or herself. This internal movement is at the basis of “The two shall be one.” If this movement is hindered or withdrawn, the question of divorce will be imminent.
We see then that the act of internal movement by which “the two shall be one” respects the “otherness” of the partner. Hence, the act of union in marriage ought not diminish the uniqueness of the partners. From its foundation, marriage is set in motion to bring freedom, and to enhance the individuality and personality of man and woman. Freedom of heart is a necessary mark of every authentic marriage.
3.0.The External Movement
The second movement is external. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. This second act of movement is as a results from the first. It cannot hold if the initial internal act of movement fails. But if the first stands, this second act falls in place almost automatically. Without much elaboration, we must understand that leaving “father and mother” the extent of the detachment necessary for the union to hold. There has to be a movement from one's lifelong attachments, security, socio-economic ways of life, etc for the sake of the new union. Often, marriage summons one to a change in lifestyle. This external act is a necessary concrete expression of the internal bond. It is on the wings of these twofold acts of motion that man and woman fly to marriage. These movements are non-stop in every successful marriage...
4.0.“Let the Children come to me”
The question of divorce arises among those who are not able to respond to the dynamism and progression that marriage entails. “It is for your stubbornness of heart that Moses wrote you this commandment.” The Pharisees, the hypocrites, asked Jesus about divorce in the Gospel of today. Of course, in every divorce, there is hypocrisy! A stubborn heart is locked up; not open to the self-abandonment and self-progression necessary for a lasting union. As I mentioned in the previous reflection “The Question of Divorce”, a stubborn heart is one that is not open to God. The one that is open to God, who accepts marriage as lifelong union, is like the little children Jesus mentioned in the Gospel today. Couples need such childlike heart in order to embrace the new horizons that is constantly unfolding in their union. Marriage requires openness and honesty. The question of divorce is dishonest and deceptive! It has no place in the foundation of marriage. If we lose our childlike innocence before God, it becomes difficult to embrace from God such gift and mystery.
That is why the complexity of men and women of our generation is divorce-prone! When people assume complicated personalities, it becomes difficult for them to make the acts of movement necessary for marriage or to sustain them. This can also account for why the greater part of the young populace would love to marry, but are afraid of embarking on the journey. The things that break marriage lie outside of it. When those negativities are injected into the system, the crash the acts of movement that keep the system running. And such heavenly bond, can turn to a nightmare...How do we overcome such fear and breakdown of the system?
While “flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone” is the principle that unites the couples, it is not sufficient in itself to sustain the union. This is because their individual and collective energies is so limited in the face of carrying along in union their physical and spiritual selves. The ultimate source of permanency of marriage lies out of the couples...At the end, the twofold movement discussed above must lead the couples outside of themselves to God, who is the source and foundation of marriage. God in the Trinity of Persons is Communion itself. The dynamic union of couples will continue to flow when they are open to this Reality which transcends each of them and their mutual selves put together. If it is true that Adam received from God the “flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone”, how can he continue to appreciate such Gift if his heart is far from God? So once Adam disobeyed God, he equally disconnected himself from the woman.
5.0. Now We see Jesus
Now, “we see Jesus, who for a little while was made lower than the angels...” (Heb 2:9). In Jesus a new family of God's people is formed, crowned with glory and honour. This is possible “because of the suffering and death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone.” It is through his self-abandonment on the Cross that Jesus sanctified us, and brought us into one fold with Him. “For He who sanctifies and those sanctified have all one origin. That is why He is not ashamed to call them His brethren.” This new family of God called forth from the flesh of Jesus!
While Adam was in a deep sleep, God formed the family of man, just as from the side of Jesus as He lay in the deep sleep of death on the Cross that the new family of God's people is formed. The primordial family of Adam and Eve becomes a prefiguration of the perfect family in Christ Jesus. Thus, Christian marriages draw life from the Cross, and are unique moments of the bond between Christ and the Church. Therefore, each partner is called to be faithful to his/her marital vows, and together they are expected to be responsible for their marriage.
Jesus Christ is ever faithful. The unfaithfulness of one partner does not justify the other to follow suit. The acts by which man and woman are joined together in marriage must draw strength from the Body of Christ, and lead the couples to Christ. Christian marriage must be seen as a means of salvation for each of the couples. Marriage brings so much freedom for Christ. This is how the dynamic acts of movements in marriage continues to carry one along, all through life, for better for worse...
Fr Jude Chinwe Nwachukwu, C.Ss.R
Holy Family Catholic Church
Festac Town Lagos.
Sunday October 7th, 2018.
